Monday, May 09, 2011
In which a point is proven
Chapman for a time had a very substantial and successful agricultural machinery sale, hire and repair business out be-Kinnegad, inherited from his late great-uncle, a strong-farmer from West-Meath, who died suddenly from an ovine-related illness that's well known to both you an me.
"Health and safety is the watchword these days" he assured Keats in the worried tones of the modthren pillar-of-the-community business man, over a few pints at lunchtime in The Kinnegad Arms Hotel. Keats demanded an example.
"Well, we purvey a class of 4 wheeled faming vehicle...".
"Ah, the quad bikes" interposed Keats.
"Indeed", continued Chapman, "but unscrupulous blackguards in certain Eas-ther-din European countries sell many's the knock off into legitimate markets".
"Can't you tell the difference" quizzed Keats.
"Oh faith and you can - with the expert eye you can; oh, the expert eye's the thing. That's the boyo to sort them out alright. But these fake ones, they're so dangerous, I had to email all the staff, clueing them up to the dangers, even had to post a copy of it on all the bulletin boards, showing exactly how you can prove which ones are fake and which ones are real".
"Well that certainly explains something that's been puzzling me" said Keats, nervously, edging out of his seat.
"What's that then", asked Chapman, reaching for the heavy glass ashtray from the table next to them.
"Ah, only that a lot of people I know from the plant having been referring to your email using a most peculiar epithet". Keats was by now slowly opening the lounge door. Chapman didn't dignify the pause with a query.
"Yes", continued Keats, "they've been calling it the Quad Ersatz Memorandum".
Keats was out the door as the ash tray splintered against the jamb, and now supplies all his heavy farm machinery needs at Curry's.
# posted by Flann O'Brien @ 3:18 PM
